World Mental Health Day
World Mental Health Day takes place on Tuesday 10 October and is an opportunity to raise awareness of mental health and make a positive change for everyone’s mental health. The theme for 2023 is ‘Mental health is a universal human right’.
We spoke with Ceri, who was struggling with her mental health after having her daughter and got help from the Nottinghamshire Healthcare’s Margaret Oates Mother and Baby Unit to help her recover.
Ceri said: “My husband and I weren’t sure that we wanted children but in January 2021, when I was 42 and my husband was 51, we decided that we did want to try, explains Ceri. Given our ages, we didn´t expect to fall pregnant easily but the very next month, I had a positive test. We couldn´t believe it! Unfortunately, it wasn’t meant to be and at 8 weeks I had a miscarriage. This was the first of three consecutive miscarriages in the space of 8 months. We decided that we would try just one more time and I fell pregnant again at the end of November. This time, lady luck appeared to be on our side and our little lady, Clementine Blue, was born on the 12 August 2022. She was beautiful and perfect and we couldn´t have been more overjoyed. We felt exceptionally blessed and grateful after our previous losses.
“About a week after Clemmie arrived, the sleep deprivation well and truly set in. That, along with not having time to process and grieve my previous losses (we had also lost our beloved greyhound, Bluey during this period) soon saw the feelings of happiness and gratitude giving way to sadness, doubt and regret. I felt that I had made the worst decision of my life, a decision that, unlike most other decisions we make in life, could not be undone. I was trapped and the anguish I felt was acute. I convinced myself that the best thing for everyone involved would either be to leave Clementine with my husband, Craig, or for us to give her up for adoption. I could feel my mental health declining day by day and I realised I needed help and quickly.
“I got in touch with the Northamptonshire Perinatal mental health care team who sprung into action. Members of the team kept a very close eye on me, visiting me every two to three days, offering any support they could. They were kind, caring and compassionate and I am so grateful for their service. It soon became evident, however, that I required another level of professional intervention.”
On 30 September 2022, Clementine and Ceri were admitted to the Trust’s Margaret Oates Mother and Baby Unit (MBU) in Nottingham, an eight-bed specialist inpatient perinatal unit for mothers from 32 weeks of pregnancy struggling with their mental health. The trained and dedicated staff provide rapid and effective care for mums whilst promoting the relationship between mum and baby.
“This was my particular struggle – adjusting to my new role, says Ceri. “I was in denial and was finding it incredibly difficult to bond with my baby, which, as you can imagine, only compounds the guilt and anguish that you are already experiencing. The diagnosis I was given was “adjustment disorder” and indeed, I felt that I would never be able to adjust to this new way of life, to love my baby the way she needed and deserved and that she would be better off without me. The staff, the wonderful, wonderful, staff with their infinite knowledge, patience and experience never gave up on me, reassuring me time and time again that this too would pass and that the bond would grow and develop in its own time. It was very hard to believe at the time but I placed my trust in them wholeheartedly. They took care of Clementine at night so I could get some much needed sleep and this in itself was a godsend. Everything seems so much brighter and lighter after a decent night´s sleep. I was also put on medication and had sessions with the unit psychologist. Each day I felt a little bit more confident and ready to accept and embrace my new role and after a week I discharged myself and went home.
After a few days back home, Ceri felt completely and utterly overwhelmed once again and returned to the unit. This time she was determined to stay until she was well and truly on the road to recovery – her little family deserved nothing less.
“My second stay at the unit brought an unexpected challenge. A scratchy throat that first evening back led me to take a Covid test which came back positive. As a result, Clemmie and I were isolated for 6 days in a separate wing of the unit. In hindsight and ironically, contracting Covid turned out to be a blessing in disguise since it forced me to face my worst fear – being alone with my baby 24/7. It showed me that I could do it, that I could cope, since in “real life” it was unlikely I would ever have to be with my baby 24/7 for days on end! A tender mercy in a very unexpected way.
“Thus, after another week on the unit, and the constant care, counsel and guidance of the staff (a special mention to Tina, Pip, Lorraine and Gracie) I felt ready to return home. Well, as ready as I was ever going to be! The staff ensured me that they were only ever a phone call way and that there would always be a bed for me should I need it again before Clemmie turned one. Just knowing that the support was there was enough to help me put one foot in front of the next, take it day by day and start to enjoy my beautiful daughter.
My gratitude for the unit and the part it had played in my recovery never diminished and as Clementine´s first birthday approached I had an idea: I was going to throw a fabulously big birthday bash for our little girl but instead of presents, I would ask guests to make a donation with all monies raised going to the Margaret Oates Mother and Baby Unit. We raised £3000 in total.
“On 19 August, exactly one week after Clemmie´s birthday and her big bash, the 3 of us returned to the MBU which was holding its annual summer fair. We gave them the good news via a letter which unit manager Debbie read out, surrounded by Pip, Lorraine and Nicola. Some tears may have been shed by both parties.
“Mother and Baby units in this country are, without a doubt, the gold standard of perinatal mental health care worldwide. They are nothing short of life saving and my little family and I simply cannot thank them enough.”
Becky Sutton, Chief Operating Officer said: “We are thrilled our service was able to support Ceri and provide the outstanding care she needed to help her recover. We are extremely grateful for such a generous donation. Ceri's story is just one of many examples of how the team do such an amazing job supporting women to get the mental health support they need."
If you have concerns about your mental health, there is support available to you. Visit our Mental Health Support page to find the right service to help you and your mental health. You can also find out about other services in Nottingham and Nottinghamshire. You can get a personalised mind plan from Every Mind Matters to help you deal with stress, anxiety, sleep and mood.
